How to relieve stress before you blow

At some point everyone feels stressed out. It’s a natural part of life. How you deal with stress is not only important for your mental health, it’s important for your physical health as well.

The most unhelpful thing you can do is turn to something unhealthy to help you cope, such as smoking or drinking.

“In life, there’s always a solution to a problem,” says Professor Cary Cooper, an occupational health expert at the University of Lancaster in Great Britain. “Not taking control of the situation and doing nothing will only make your problems worse.”

He says the keys to good stress management are building emotional strength, being in control of your situation, having a good social network, and adopting a positive outlook.

First, the basics: Eat well, exercise, make time for self-care, get enough sleep. But that’s all easier said than done when you sometimes barely have the time and energy to brush your teeth. Sometimes, the only option is to forge ahead. But just because you’re under intense pressure to perform doesn’t mean you can totally ignore your mental health.

STRESS-BUSTING
Here are some suggestions for managing your stress:

• Take a breath. Several times a day, pause to take some slow, deep breaths — in through the nose and out through the mouth. Focused breathing takes you out of your head and begins to calm your body’s response to stress.
• Take control. There’s a solution to any problem. “If you remain passive, thinking, ‘I can’t do anything about my problem,’ your stress will get worse,” says Professor Cooper. “That feeling of loss of control is one of the main causes of stress and lack of well-being.” The act of taking control is in itself empowering, and it’s a crucial part of finding a solution that satisfies you and not someone else.
• Avoid unhealthy habits. Don’t rely on alcohol, smoking and caffeine as your ways of coping. “Men more than women are likely to do this. We call this avoidance behavior,” Cooper said. “Women are better at seeking support from their social circle.” In the long term, these crutches won’t solve your problems. They’ll just create new ones.
• Worry with a purpose. Sometimes there’s good reason to be concerned. But dwelling on that worry isn’t doing you any good unless it points you toward a plan.  Instead of stressing about whether you might be laid off, channel that energy into updating your resume, talking to friends who might have job leads or coming up with a Plan B. Use the worry to come to a solution, instead of just spinning around in the stress.
• Accept the things you can’t change. Changing a difficult situation isn’t always possible. Try to concentrate on the things you do have control over. If your company is going under, for example, there’s nothing you can do about it. In a situation like that, you need to focus on the things that you can control, such as looking for a new job.
• Try to be positive. Look for the positives in life and things for which you’re grateful. “People don’t always appreciate what they have,” Cooper said. Try to be glass half full instead of glass half empty. Every night before bed, write down three good things that happened that day.
• Don’t borrow trouble. When you’re in a pressure cooker situation, it’s easy to imagine the worst. But often we end up stressing about stuff that hasn’t even happened yet — and might not happen at all.
• Help other people. Evidence shows that people who help others, through activities such as volunteering or community work, become more resilient. “Helping people who are often in situations worse than yours will help you put your problems into perspective,” Cooper said. “The more you give, the more resilient and happy you feel.” If you don’t have time to volunteer, try to do someone a favor every day. It can be something as small as helping someone cross the road or going on a coffee run for colleagues.
• Have yourself a tantrum. If you have a stressful situation that’s out of your control, you might want to rant and rave. Give yourself 10 minutes and go ahead and blow your top. Use that time to get mad, wallow in your anger or vent to a family member. Then be done with it.

Sadly, there is no trick to make your stress magically disappear. But periods of intense stress don’t last forever. Carving out a few minutes a day to relax and refocus will help carry you through to the other side.